Advice

My facial wash says, "we came into this world with all the right instincts. Full of joy, excitement and a sense of wonderment."

My hair paste says, "apply a small amount to damp or dry hair with fingertips."

My shoes say, "simple. shoes for a happy planet."

Everywhere, there is both inspiration and instruction. I find that it can be a little overwhelming. The best advice I was ever given shocked my world. It was, "you cannot change them based on what you do."
I have agreed and disagreed with this advice.

It took me months to discover that regardless of how much I loved her, it would not make her love me back. It has taken me weeks to figure out, that even though I want it to be one way, others want it a different way.  I think the only way to make sure that what you are doing will influence others is to tell them what and why you are doing what it is that you are doing. Maybe this will help, maybe, even with the knowledge of your intentions, it stay the same.

She says she is good for me and that I am good for her. She says that I need someone to fuck up my life and my car every so often. If I had a dollar for every car she has messed up, then I would have more dollars than I have now.

Different she says she will keep her non-working hours free minus the hours spent celebrating a 15 year old boys birthday. It was in response to me keeping my non-studying hours free.

Still, another she doesn't say anything at all. Is it because I have not said anything first? who knows?

Another New Years in Seattle

Polar run and plunge is scheduled.

Plus, meeting up with all of my good friends, I cannot wait :)

tick tock

I used to hug my first girlfriend and tell her that I would only get better with time, that our love would only get better with time.  It did not exactly need improvement but I believe in a continuous process of improving.

At 25, and after a couple of recent debacles, I feel it is once again time to look back and see if I actually am better.  And the answer is yes, definitely better.

Just another love song

I know that I am supposed to write about love and growing up. I know that is the intent of and the expectation for this blog. I think though, that sometimes, love is that subtle thing that builds within a person until bursting into reality.

Sometimes, love is not about timing. Sometimes, love is not about forgiveness and sometimes love is not the belief inside every teenager of one chance at something real.  Sometimes, love is about sending gluten-free waffles to India and telling all of your friends that it is "what a real friend would do." And sometimes, love is sending a silly text message to break the proverbial ice, then getting your heartbroken when you do not receive a reply.

What remains about love is that it is always about yourself first, because lets face it, after a pint of ben and jerrys or a little too much halloween candy... the only one who is really going to want to lay next to you is either yourself, or that one person in your life.  The one that held your hand as you both climbed a mountain (proverbial or actual) and yelled from the top, for the first time, I do, love you.

Dexter Angles

Tonight, my buddies and I watched the latest (past sunday's) edition of Dexter. We generally wait until our tests are over until we watch the new episode, so, if we have a test on Monday morning then we cannot watch it live on Sunday evening.

Somehow, our first awareness of sex came about and I confessed that although I understood sex at a relatively early age, around 12, that the angle of intercourse was very confusing to me. I struggled as an adolescent female to understand the interpretation of the "angle of intercourse".  This was primarily due to a straight out angle depicted in cartoons (southpark, etc) versus the "tucked under the belt" concealing version of the male penis that I discovered in high school... okay, okay, my first year in college.

EITHER WAY! that angle was mad confusing.  How far we have come. Oh, and Dexter, amazing.  My friends, more than amazing. A great group, more than I had expected and even more than I would have hoped for.  I consider myself lucky as I move forward. Hoping for a new years in seattle.

xoxo,
until next time!
you're favorite chatty wino :)