Week Complete

This is my life... I go to class and attempt to pay attention and attempt to stay awake... kudos Army for having a Starbucks in the medical building... not so many accolades for your food options.

The fun starts this week with our first biochemistry exam on Friday morning... then the testing begins at a rate of 1-3 a week.

I am not scared. Maybe I should be scared but I am not. I was asked this weekend if I have emotionally prepared for the possibility of failing out of school... no, I have not. I cannot fail out of school... well, obviously it is a possibility as 15 failed out of the last class, but it is not an option for me because there is no reasonable alternative. So here I am, studying with the handsome Ayden... every night without fail. This is my road. I have taken it. I look forward to the stops along the path on my way into the future.

Last Sunday

Dubbed our last chance at freedom, it withers away. The last day to try to compensate to those who we will not be able to spend enough time or effort on for the impending future. Last seems so final bc it is.

There is a concept quality over quantity. Most Americans disagree. Most people disagree. Many lust for more and then more on top of the already acquired surplus. I say nay.

I have one follower. I appreciate you :) and I miss you very much. I say this sole follower is sufficient and I do not lust for more.

I am struggling to find 500 words to adequately describe the past, present and future of a classmate. The assignment is due tomorrow. I will need to find the unoriginal words to describe an individual and unique journey that only one person would not trade for the whole. It is my own struggle to find the words and to accept that this is my last day, my last chance to put it off until I "feel" like doing it.

Now is the time to do what I have wanted to do for years, yet I cannot find the motivation. I am scared of failure... I am sure that at one time, a wise man said not to be afraid and perhaps another wise man said that failure is the true success. I am not a wise man, but with work and time, one day I shall be. (obviously not a true man, but you get the point)

riverwalk on the edge of danger, SA

tonight, I decided to go out with two middle aged men who were complete strangers but shared an interest in the success, or impeding doom of the University of Arizona NCAA Men's Basketball tournament... The issue with tonight was not with these two respectful men from Kansas City, Missouri, but with three enlisted? officer? female students at Fort Sam Houston who felt the need to publicly grope, make-out and otherwise make others feel like they were witnessing the introductory scenes of a porn flick while trying to have a good time at a public bar downtown... these girls stated that they were in 'such a stressful environment that they need a release,' and so naturally... I asked for more details... turns out that they were in SCHOOL to become combat medics, no not actual medics but in school... guess what buttercup, if school is so stressful that you need to diminish your self respect and perpetuate the heteronormative stereotypes of women as a sexual object... then go right ahead... let me know how the real combat medic gig works out and I will stay back here fending off all the chumps who think that it is okay to treat me as a sex object as you have let men publicly treat you... you may be serving our country chicka, but I am serving womankind... which is a greater cause? I challenge...

Morning in San Antonio

I spent the beginning of my first morning in the small pool on the 6th floor of my amazingly luxurious hotel. The view of downtown filled with a comforting morning dew/ mist reminded me of the wet in Seattle. I thought to myself, this is something that I could not do in Seattle: point 1 for SA.

I find myself at a queer coffee shop, queer in the strange definition, not the sexuality. Greeted by a sign posted on the front of the restroom, "Worship at the Foundry," I want to run... instead, I chucked to myself and order the first $1 cup of coffee I think I have ever had. It is not bad. It is not great. I feel like I am surrounded by a couple of gay guys which is comforting but then there is an overwhelming sense of 'doing unto others' which is gagging me as I attempt to sign onto the internet with a password of friendship. Perhaps it is endearing and I am just being angry, an emotion that I resort to when I am alone and a little scared.

Today is day one of apartment shopping which is getting progressively more difficult as I have just adopted a puppy who may be pit. I have already been advised three times to have him 'pass' as a lab. Passing was Rolls Royce's favorite novella and her pups namesake. I still wonder how I could have let that situation get the best of me.

Forward march towards a new home.

Return to Tucson

I sit with a swollen head, weak from the night before, and I realize that I was supposed to have given this gig up a long time ago. I have made promises to so many of my friends that I would not let this happen again. It is the last time... this time is the last time.

Vegas was full of learning experiences and take-away lessons. I want to return when I am thirty and partake in the March Madness once again. The shows surpassed my expectations, the food did not.

Sometimes, New Years is when people decide to reflect. I have chosen today to decide upon the improved image of myself which will slowly evolve over the next year. Progress is coming.